Oei, dit wordt ontzettend lang! Oh my, this is getting hugely long!
On the airplane
Stewardesses S1 and S2, Pilot P, co-pilot CP and a confused passenger or two P1,
Sounds of people shuffling stuff and overhead compartments opening.
P1: Where is seat 14E?
S1: Over there sir between 14D and 14F.
P1 (in a snotty voice): Thanks.
P2: (young girl) Could you help me put this in the overhead compartment?
S2: Certainly, happy to be of assistance.
S1 (announcing): Ladies and gentlemen please take your seats as the final boarding
call has been announced...
P3 (starts to speak before S1 has finished, slightly winded): Am I fashionably late?
(Dirkmath told me that fashionably late does not exist in Dutch. Dirk, what was that expression again and what should the text in English say?)
S2: Yes sir, please take your seat.
Sounds of flipping through boarding pass papers.
S2: 4A, on your left there by the window.
The microphones in the cockpit accidentally got wired so that people in the cabin can also hear conversations taking place in the cockpit.
P: Checklist complete?
CP: Checked, number three's aux (is this auxiliary?) hydraulic has a slight vibration.
P: Noted, we'll have the ground crew check it when we land.
P: Anything else?
CP: Negative, all systems green.
S2: Ladies and gentlemen the captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign. Please ensure that all carry-on luggage is securely stowed in the overhead bins
or under the seat in front of you.
P: Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of Tongebreker Airlines, I would like to welcome
you to flight 25. Non-stop service from New York to Amsterdam.
[do we want to introduce the crew?]
[Yes, please introduce them!]
P: If you would kindly direct your attention to the front of the cabin, the
stewardesses will go over the safety procedures. Thank you for flying Tongbreker Airlines, we hope you will have a pleasant
S1: Please read your safety brochure as you follow along with the verbal instructions. Insert the metal tongue into the buckle as shown and pull the strap until the
lapbelt is securely fastened. Note the location of the closest emergency exit, one over each wing, one in the front, and one in the back. If you're sitting next to an emergency exit and don't feel comfortable in your
ability to open the door, please press your call button and we will make arrangements
with another passenger.
(Jeff, this is good, but S1 has a bit too much to say. We know there's a visual, but S2 needs some of these lines because it might be quite long for one person to say all that. If somebody is ok with S1's long part then we can just leave it.)
T1: I didn't realize this, but I'm afraid to fly. I have never been on a plane before
and thought flying was going to be cool, but now that I'm here...
T2: Well I've never been on a plane either but I'm not afraid!
T1: That's because you are braver than I am.
T2: Nope, I'm just less worried about things.
C: Cabin secure for take off?
S2: Yes Captain.
C: Taxi'ing for takeoff.
Sounds of plane taxi'ing.
T2: Well, actually, come to think of it, I am a bit nervous...
T1: Aww, it must be contageous.
[Sorry Jeff I changed this part on you.
Sounds of rummaging through pocket on back of seat in front.
T2: Look, I have found a booklet about how to overcome the fear of flying. It's called The Tongbreker Airlines Guide to Relaxation During Flights. Darn long title but looks interesting.
T1: Oh, I got a copy too, we should both read it.
Sounds of pages turning as the Ts read.
T2: I don't feel so nervous now.
T1: Same here. I feel just the opposite, ready to get in the air!
P: Ladies and gentlemen, we're next in line for takeoff. Please ensure all belongings
CP: Clearence for takeoff granted.
P: Roger that, motors spooling up, brakes on hold.
Aircraft motor spooling sound?
CP: Number three aux hydraulic vibration seems to have stopped.
High pitched whine that stops.
P: I'll still need to have it checked, make a note of it.
CP (subdued voice): Check.
CP (normal voice): Flaps and slats in takeoff position. All systems nominal.
(What on earth does nominal mean and how many hours have you flown, Jeff? You know so much about planes I bet you're a pilot!)
Loudish airplane motor noise here.
P: Motors at 100%, runway clear.
CP: Final clearence granted.
P: Roger that, holding brake released.
Sound of plane taking off.
T1: We're in the air! This is fun!
T2: Yeah, just look at that view!
T1: Not the view silly the feeling! Feel that engine's power! Um, I guess I should say engines.
T2: The feeling was a bit scary, I meant the view. Ah man, my ears are popping, anybody got any gum?
(Commercial for Tongbreker chewing gum.)
T1: We're getting close. Did you notice we've been speaking Dutch all this time?
I never noticed that!
T2 (laughs): You're right, I just switched to Dutch automatically when we boarded.
Maybe we're really becoming Dutch!
Passenger (in Dutch of course): You two speak very good Dutch by the way! I've been
sitting here admiring your nice pronunciation!
T1 (whispering): Oh, they were listening to us. Let's talk quietly from now on.
T2 (whispering): Or maybe not talk at all.
Sound of plane landing.
C: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Amsterdam. The current weather is partly cloudy
and a nice 25C. On behalf of the crew we would like to...
(This part looks odd, why is to the last word here?)
C: Thank you for flying Tongbreker Airlines. We hope you enjoy your stay in Amsterdam.]
Engines shut off. The flight is over and the travellers are now in Amsterdam.
(Jeff: Actually I just thought of this but if they are taking off from New York everybody
would be speaking English...?
EetSmakelijk: Lots would, but if it is a flight to the Netherlands people might be Dutch and the crew would probably all speak Dutch I think. Besides, we made up the airline so if they speak Dutch then that's up to us!
Sounds of a crowded airport.
The travellers must ask a passer-by where the baggage claim area is because that is where their friend A is to meet them.
T1: Excuse me, Sir, do you know where the baggage area is?
B: Certainly, turn left here and go down the hall until you see a sign that points to baggage claim.
T1: I am sorry, I didn't quite understand that, could you speak more slowly please?
B (more slowly): Certainly, turn left here and go down the hall until you see a sign that points to baggage claim.
T1: Thank you!
B: Glad to help.
(Question for a Dutch person, would B ask if T was on vacation and wish him/her a nice vakantie?)
Sounds of walking and then:
A: Excuse me, are you T1 and T2?
T2 (sounding relieved): Yes! Are you A?
A: Yes! It's so nice to see you! You look just like your pictures. Good thing too because then I'd never have found you. Did you have a good flight? Do you like the Netherlands?
T2: So far, it's great! I especially love the people. They're so polite.
A: Great! Let's find a train and then we can travel to (insert place name) and I'll show you my house and you can meet my parents who speak no English, no don't look so frightened, I'll translate if you really get confused.
T1 (sounding nervous): Ok, I hope I don't do anything rude. Please tell me about Dutch customs so I don't look silly in front of your parents.
T2: Yeah, we don't want to make fools of ourselves.
(Need help here from a Dutchie. Is it true that visitors take off their shoes before stepping into a house?)
A: (explains some stuff about etiquette)
Sounds of walking and the sound of a train.
A: Ok, here's the train, now we need three tickets to (insert name) and I don't know how much they cost. Please ask the man there.
T1: You mean you want me to ask him in Dutch?
A: Of course, it's the only way you learn. He won't bite (is this even a Dutch expression?). It's his job to help people find the right train.
T1: I'm too nervous to ask.
T2: Ok, I'll do it.
C: Good morning, how can I help you?
T2 (stutters a bit and then says): Um yes, may I have three tickets to (name) and how much does that cost?
C: (insert price that makes sense)
T2: Thank you, sorry for my bad Dutch.
C: Your Dutch is very easy to understand. Have a good trip. (Is there a Dutch equivalent of bon voyage?)
A: See that wasn't so terrible now was it!
T2 (sounding sheepish): Nope, not bad at all.
T1: Yeah, you were all nervous for nothing!
T2: Look who's talking, you were too nervous to even try!
A (smile in her voice): Now now, children, no fighting. We have a train to catch, it leaves in five minutes!
A and the Ts are standing outside A's house. They are just about to go in but T1 is shy about meeting A's family.
T1: How do I address your mother? I call you "je" but should I say u to her?
A: No, je to her is fine.
T1: What about your father?
A: Same thing, je is fine. Really there's no need to be nervous. They're very friendly people. Please won't you come in. I am very honoured to have visitors from so far away!
Sound of doors opening and they step inside the house.
A's Mum: Hello, nice to meet you! A has told me so much about you, it is so nice that you have come all the way from (place) to visit us! I have just made lunch. I made Dutch food so you could try some of our food. There is (insert food...).
T1: Wow, that's wonderful! Yes, I could use some lunch. I am very glad to be here, A told me so much about the Netherlands I just had to visit!
A's Dad (walks in from another room): Hello, T1 and T2! Welcome to the Netherlands and to our home!
T2: Thank you Sir... I mean (insert first name).
A: Come on into the dining room and have lunch. My mum is the best cook in the world!
A and the Ts are at the market. T1 wants to make homemade pizza and needs some groceries.
T2 has taken on the task of buying the groceries. Will T2 get everything T1 needs?
D (calling loudly): Verse groenten! Vers fruit! Proef maar! Alles even lekker!
D (calling loudly): Fresh vegetables, fresh fruit! Go ahead and taste! Everything is tasty!
The Ts stop at the stall.
D: Ah, en wat zal het zijn voor u dames?
D: Ah, and what will it be for you ladies?
T2: Yes, I need some tomatoes, garlic, onions, capers, olives, olive oil, pineapple,
green pepper, hot chili peppers, and saussage.
D: Zeker, zegt u maar als het genoeg is. Maar voor de worst zal u naar een ander
kraam moeten gaan. Nog iets anders?
D: Certainly, just say when it's enough. For the sausage you'll have to go to another stall. Anything else?
T1 (whispering): You forgot the tomato sauce.
T2 (sounding embarrassed): Sorry, yes, I forgot tomato sauce.
D: Geen probleem, hier is de tomatensaus. En wou u nog iets anders?
D: No problem, here is the tomato sauce. Would you like anything else?
T2: No thanks, that's really everything this time!
D: Dat is dan 15 euro en 40 cent.
D: That is 15 euros and 40 cents.
T2: Ok, let's go find the sausages, I have to say that was the WORST mistake I have made so far! Asking for meat in a vegetable and fruit stall!
T1: Not so bad. I could have made the same mistake.
A: If you've never been to a market before then how would you know? I see the meat over there. I'll get you the sausages. Your Dutch was great! Tell me, are you really going to put all that stuff you bought on a pizza? I just can't imagine that! However, since you two are brave enough to speak my language, I shall be brave and eat pizza.
T1: Yes, I am going to put it all on, and if you didn't try the pizza, you'd be missing something amazing!
T1 maakt voor iedereen een pizza bij A thuis.
T1 is making a pizza for everybody at A's house.
A: Kom maar binnen allemaal. T1 gaat net beginnen met koken en dat willen jullie niet
missen. Ze heeft gezegd dat we allemaal mogen kijken hoe ze de pizza maakt.
A: Come on in everybody, T1 is just about to start cooking and you don't want to miss this. She said we could all watch her!
F: Kom op!
F: Right on!
G: Dat ziet er goed uit.
G: It looks good.
H: Yep, sure does.
T2: Ik heb haar pizza al een miljoen keer gehad, en elke keer wordt hij? het? beter!
T2: I've had her pizza a million times before, but it's better every time!
T1 (nerveus): Ik hoop dat jullie hem lekker vinden.
T1 (nervous): I hope you like it.
A: We like you, T1, even if your pizza is not our (cup of tea) we won't judge you as a person.
G: Ik heb nog nooit zoveel spul op een pizza gezien. Ik bedoel, ik doe 's morgens alleen
boter op mijn brood en ik heb nooit gedacht dat je dat er allemaal ook op kan doen.
G: I've never seen so much stuff on top of a piece of bread. I mean, I just put butter on my bread in the mornings and I've never thought of putting all that stuff on.
H: Dat geldt voor mij ook, maar het wordt vast heel lekker.
H: Same here, but it's bound to be great food!
F: Ze haalt hem uit de oven, kijk, daar komt hij, wow, wat ruikt dat lekker!
F: She's taking it out of the oven, look, here it comes, wow, it smells so good!
A: Ja! Het ziet er echt lekker uit! Ik denk dat ik dit heerlijk ga vinden.
A (sounding a bit surprised): Yes, it really does look great! I think I will like this!
T1: Eet smakelijk!
A (lacht): O, je kent al die uitdrukking, je wordt echt Nederlands!
A (laughs): Oh, you know that expression, you are becoming so Dutch!
T2: Ik ken het ook, eet smakelijk!
T2: I know it too, eet smakelijk!
A: Yes, T2, our language also seems to be making its way into your blood!
F: T1, ga jij naar Nederland verhuizen? Want als je dat doe, dan moet je een restaurant
beginnen en je pizzas gaan verkopen.
F: T1, are you going to move to the Netherlands? Because if you do you should open a restaurant and sell your pizza!
A: Ja, en T2 zou je daarmee kunnen helpen!
A: Yes, and T2 could help you with that!
T1 (lacht): Tsja, het is mogelijk dat ik hier naartoe kom, maar ik weet niet of ik dan een pizza restaurant open. Ik ben blij dat jullie het lekker vinden.
T1 (laughs): Well, I might move here, but I don't know about opening a pizza restaurant. I'm glad you like it.
H: Dat vinden we zeker en jouw Nederlands is ook erg goed.
H: Yeah, we do, and your Dutch is great too! You both speak better Dutch than... (H can't think of better than what, so G helps him out in the next sentence.)
G: ...dan mijn zus.
G: ...than my sister.
T2: Hoe oud is je zus? Ik weet zeker dat ze twee is of zoiets.
T2: How old is your sister? I bet she's two or something.
G (lacht): Echt niet, zij is 20!
G (laughs): No way, she's 20!
T1: Waarom spreekt ze dan slecht Nederlands?
T1: Why does she speak bad Dutch?
G: Zij articuleert niet zo duidelijk als jullie. Ze moet steeds herhalen wat ze gezegd
G: Because she doesn't make the sounds as clearly as you do. People are constantly asking her to repeat.
A: Waar ga je heen als je hier vertrekt?
A: Where are you going to visit after me?
T1: Ik ga naar Vlaanderen. Ik ga een paar oorlogsmonumenten bezoeken. Het is triest, maar
de geschiedenis is belangrijk en we moeten het niet gaan herhalen.
T1: Flanders. I am going to visit some of the war memorials. It's sad, but history is important so we don't repeat it.
F: Dat vind ik ook.
F: I agree.
G: Ja. En jij, T2, wat ga je doen?
G: Yep. What about you, T2?
T2: History isn't my strength but I will visit the war memorials with T1 and then will drag her to visit art museums and other places.
H: Hoi, ik ben van Vlaanderen. Je hebt misschien wel gemerkt dat ik een ander accent
heb. Tsja, die Ollanders zeggen dat ik een accent heb, maar ik denk dat zij het hebben.
Allee, ik ben blij dat je mijn land gaat bezoeken. Zeg het gedag van mij, ik mis
H: I am from Flanders. You might have noticed I have a different accent. Well, these Dutchies say I have an accent, but I think they all have the accent. Anyway, I am glad you are going to visit my country. Say hello to it for me please, I really miss home.
T2: Ja, ik had het zeker in de gaten. Bedankt voor je uitleg. Ik denk dat het met Engels
sprekende landen hetzelfde is. Zij hebben elk hun eigen accent. Ik zal Vlaanderen
luid en duidelijk groeten namens jou.
T2: Yes, I did notice. Thanks for the explanation. I guess it's the same thing with English-speaking countries. They each have their own accents. I'll give Flanders a big hello from you!
A: Helaas allemaal, het is bijna bedtijd. Ik vond het feestje zo leuk, dat ik bijna
vergeten ben dat ik morgen moet werken als ik T1 en t2 naar het station heb gebracht.
A: Sorry everybody, but it's almost bed time. I have enjoyed the party so much I almost forgot that I have to work tomorrow after I take these two to the train station.
T1: Je werk vergeten is altijd een goede zaak.
T1: Forgetting about work is always a good thing.
F: Voor mij niet, ik hou van mijn werk.
F: Not for me, I love my work.
G: Werken is goed, maar feesten is veel beter!
G: Work is ok, but partying is more fun!
H: Ik haat mijn werk. Ik werk alleen, omdat er brood op de plank moet komen.
H: I hate work, I work only so I can eat.
T1: Het doet mij deugd dat jullie de pizza lekker vonden. Het was prettig met jullie
kennis te maken. Dit is het beste land. Ik denk echt dat ik hiernaartoe verhuis.
T1: I am glad you all liked my pizza and I am so glad I got to meet you. This country is the best, I really do think I will move here!
A: We loved your pizza and if you move here you are most certainly welcome! Don't look so sad, T2, you are welcome too! I am sure you cook something as delicious as T1's pizza. Maybe you can make great hot chocolate?
T2: Oh thank you, A, yes, I do make good hot chocolate! I could help T1 in her restaurant. She'd make the pizza, I'd make the hot chocolate and the coffee!
A: Sounds fabulous! I'll eat there every day of the week and get very fat.
H: Voordat je besluit waar je heen gaat, moet je eerst Vlaanderen bezoeken.
H: Before you decide where to move, please visit Flanders first.
T2: Dat is een goed idee. Ik (heb?) zo'n gevoel dat het net zo leuk zal zijn en dat ik dan niet
meer weet waar ik heen moet verhuizen ....
T2: Good idea. I have a feeling it will be just as amazing and then we won't know where to move!
A and the Ts are at the train station.
A: Ok, here is the train to (place name). You need to stop off there and catch a different train to the docks where you will catch your boat to Belgium.
T1: Goodbye, A! It has been so lovely staying with you!
T2: Indeed it has, and we'll be back!
A: Yes, please come again next year or sooner if you can!
T1: I really think I might move here.
T2: Yeah, I'm starting to get that moving feeling.
A: Well, I don't want to cry on this platform, have a safe journey and I'll talk to you again soon!
Sounds of a train.
The Ts get off the train in (place name).
T1: We're here!
T2: Where's that train to the docks?
T1: There it is!
T2: Ok, let's dash, we've only got about thirty seconds!
T1: We're on board!
T2: Good thing, all that running was exhausting!
T1: This train is very crowded. I see two empty seats, but they're not together. Shall I ask that person there if they'd mind switching seats? (Is this done in the Netherlands?)
T2: I'll ask. Excuse me, may we switch seats with you?
Passenger: Certainly. Have a great time in Germany!
T1: Germany, we aren't supposed to go to Germany. Did we get on the wrong train?
T2: Oh dear, I hope not, I speak not a word of German!
Passenger: No problem, when we stop in Berlin I'll get you on to the right train back to where you are going.
T1: Thank you so much!
T2: Yes, thank you, it means a lot to us how polite and friendly Dutch people are!
Passenger: I cannot imagine being unfriendly to travellers. There are too many hardships in this world for people to be rude to each other.
T1: I agree!
Sounds of the train.
The Ts and Passenger get off and Passenger shows them to the correct platform.
T1: Thank you so much!
T2: Indeed, thank you!
Passenger: You're most welcome!
Sounds of another train moving.
T2: Finally, we're on the right train!
Sounds of the train again.
T1: We're getting off here, then we need to find the dock and catch the boat.
At the docks to catch their boat, one of them will ask how much it costs.
T1: Excuse me, how much is a ticket to Antwerp?
I: (Gives the price.)
T2: That's perfect, thanks.
The Ts arrive in Antwerp all in one piece and need to find a hotel.
T2: Excuse me, do you know a good hotel in this area?
J (Person with strong Antwerps accent guess whos gonna play this part
):Yes, it's the Hotel Antwerpen and it's three streets south and four streets west.
T2 (Sounding shy): Sorry, could you repeat that please?
J (in standard Dutch this time repeats the same directions)
T2: Oh, now I understand!
T1: Were you speaking a dialect, it sounds very lovely but I do not know it.
J (in Antwerps again): Yep, it was the Antwerp dialect. I do that to all tourists to see their reactions. (Repeats same words in standard Dutch.)
T1: Oh, that's so entertaining!
T2: Yeah, you sure had us!
J (In Antwerps and standard Dutch): Glad I could intertain you. You speak excellent Dutch. I hope you have an amazing time here in Flanders!
T2: We will!
T1: For sure.
T2: That war memorial we visited was very sad. I can't stop crying. No, don't start again, please! This is why history is not my thing, it all seems to be about people dying, getting hurt, or not having political freedom.
T1: Yes, that is often true. The reason I go to all these places and read the sad truths in them is because I do not want to repeat them. I know a place you will find interesting.
T2: Oh yeah, what's it called?
T1: It's called the PocketFish Aquarium.
T2: Sounds interesting.
The Ts arrive at the aquarium and a friendly guide shows them around.
K: Welkom in het PocketFish Aquarium! Weten jullie waarom de Pocketfish zo speciaal
K: Welcome to the PocketFish Aquarium! Do you know why the PocketFish is so special?
T2: No idea, why?
T1: Because it is endangered?
K: Ja, inderdaad deze vis is bedreigd. Het is echt droevig omdat zoveel mensen hun
grammatica vergeten zijn en ze zich daardoor ook de arme kleine PocketFish niet meer
herinneren. Deze vis zal wel niet echt uitsterven, maar spoedig zal niemand meer
weten dat hij ooit bestaan heeft. Op die manier is het dus een bedreigde vissoort.
Ik ben echt blij dat jullie hier zijn, er komen zo weinig bezoekers de laatste tijd.
K: Yes, it is endangered. So sad, but so many people have forgotten their grammar that nobody remembers the poor little PocketFish. It's not going to die out, but pretty soon nobody will remember it exists. In that way it is endangered. I am so glad you are here, we get so few visitors these days.
T2 (confused): What does a fish have to do with grammar?
K: Als je de klinkers weglaat uit het Engelse woord PocketFish dan blijft er PCKTFSH
over. Zwakke werkwoorden waarvan de stam op een van die letters eindigt, krijgen
een t in de verleden tijd en geen d zoals alle andere zwakke werkwoorden.
K: If you take the vowels out of the English word PocketFish, you are left with PCKTFSH. Weak verbs whose stems end in those letters get a t added in the past tense instead of all other weak verbs which get a d.
T1: Really? So that's why it has to do with grammar.
K: Ja. Als de PocketFish niet meer bestond, dan zouden de Engelstaligen die Nederlands
als tweede taal leren niet meer weten welke werkwoorden een t krijgen. Jullie zouden
bijvoorbeeld "ik werkde" zeggen in plaats van "ik werkte".
K: Yes. If the PocketFish did not exist, no English speakers learning Dutch as a second language would remember which verbs take t. For example, you'd be saying Ik werkde" instead of ik werkte!
T1: Wow! How do Dutch people remember it?
K: Zij hebben hun eigen woord: 't kofschip of 't fokschaap.
K: They have their own word, 't kofschip or 't fokschaap.
T2: May we see one?
K: Jazeker, dat mag. Kom maar langs hier.
K: Yes, you may. Please step this way...
Sounds of walking and water running, you know that aquarium sound?
K (whispering): Daar is hij. Hij slaapt in zijn zakje of pocket. De vis maakt dat
zakje uit zeewier en spinsel, een beetje zoals een spinnenweb.
K (whispering): There it is. It's sleeping in its pocket. The pocket is made by the fish out of seaweed and webbing, a bit like a spiderweb.
T2: It's all different colours. Very beautiful!
T1: Wow, and you say people don't know about it? That's sad, not as sad as the war memorials, but it's a real shame!
T2: Yeah, when we meet people on our travels we'll tell them about the PocketFish and how it helps you to conjugate verbs!
K: Dank u wel! Tot ziens, en ik hoop dat de rest van jullie vakantie even fantastisch
K: Thank you so much! Goodbye, and I hope the rest of your vacation is fantastic!